Walking, Talking Selfcontradiction

I've spun so many times through my head to make a choice on what to write about next; at the end it always turns out to be a contradiction or a self-discovery, based on certain dates... like right now I was going to write of how I "already forgot" some dates and times I've always wanted to forget. Or just before that, I discovered I won't ever forget those datesand times. Or how about right now, I discovered I contradict myself "unconsciounsly"...

I just found out I write to try to forget, and read to remember...

I gotta stop lying to myself.